My mind is doing a somersault… I find myself again in the same position .. same position of missing someone SO badly who’s purposefully moving away from me.. in the last few weeks there have been so many changes… changes in the way I think about some one, changes in my professional life, caught in the whirlwind of saying good bye to the work and to “someone” in particular.. who changed from being a good friend to more than a friend and realizing that we can’t afford to do that as we have travelled a long way with others in our lives… I miss K a lot and a lot and just can’t get his thoughts out of my mind and on the other hand he just doesn’t seem to be making any efforts to be in touch.. no IMs :(… no phones.. no attempt to talk to me.. no picking me up in the morning… it hurts so much to see his status light “green” telling me he is always online but not contacting me at all :(.. he feels sleepy early these nights and so no late long chats that I look forward to and added it all so much confusion within my mind and his…the guilt, the right-wrong see-saw, the agony my heart is going through at not being able to talk/see K freely
and then the continuous on-going arguments and fights with M, not so true “sorries”
M’s love .. to the extent of choking me… M’s expectations for calling /being with him on the phone ALWAYS!!, SO MANY missed calls everytime I go out.. ruining all the good times that I would’ve had till then 😦 😦
Missing K, fighting with M, saying good bye to 8 long years of work, no clue of what future holds for me, so many questions from so many people on what next and me with no clue as to what to answer…
all contributors to the change in my mood compared to the lively and the spring in the steps me to the dragging feet me

Posted in Me. 1 Comment »

One Response to “Somersault”

  1. shilpadesh Says:

    Ohhh I hope you find some clarity and peace of mind. Hugs…

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